Saturday, July 10, 2010

Living in Denial

So we went to the waterpark on vacation.  I notice the people all the time, I love people watching. This year I looked closer and was so saddened by so many overweight people.  So many unhealthy people.  I am one of them.

I am not judging anyone, I'm not grossed out by their fat or disgusted by their lack of healthy awareness. I am SAD for their lack of control and committment.  I am sad for their state of health.  I am sad for their complete denial.

That's what it is. Denial. I know this because I lived it for many, many years.

Sure they know they are overweight.  Yes, they know that eating fatty foods and desserts won't help. They know on some level. Yet they keep doing it.  They know it but it's like this downward spiral that they just can't go up and it gets worse and worse.

This blog has helped me a lot. I haven't made a ton of weigh loss progress since I started this blog but I truly believe had I not been writing every day, I would have gained more. Much more. 

I broke free of my complete denial a few years ago when I was diagnosed with diabetes.  That woke me up. I learned, focused and lost 100 lbs.  Then I got comfortable. Then I gained. Let me tell you, at 237 lbs, I am far from comfortable!  I've been stuck since.  This blog has helped. Having to post daily has kept me from living in denial and not thinking about what I ate. 

I ate okay today.  We did go out to eat, I don't know for sure what kind of calories I ate. It wasn't horrible, it wasn't great either.  However it was much better than it would have been if I wasn't writing this blog. 

Sorry, this has been kind of a rambly post. I had one thought at the beginning and then sorta went another direction. Writer, I am not. Tired, I am.


  1. I agree that the blogging holds you accountable, or at least that is my perception. You can tell the whole ugly truth about the crappy food you ate, that you did not lift one finger to exercise, that you hate your body and your life. Then 3 or 4 people will chime in and tell you to put it behind you, pick up and start again, and even make a suggestion or two to make you think of it in another way. Then they will gently suggest that you just walk around the block or just occasionally eat fruit instead of cake, and you feel that someone cares.

    I love Blogville!

  2. I try and blog just a little about my diet. It does hold me more accountable, but I am a lot more successful this time because I finally reached the decision that I WANT to do this. It is now worth the effort. That has been an amazing change for me. 22 lbs in 6 weeks is pretty good. I only have about 40 more to go, but I am 1/3 of the way there and I am doing it this time!!!


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