It's funny. I love to cheer people at their successes, attempt to pick them up when they are down, but don't listen to a word of the advice I give.
Not. A. Word.
I wake up with hope and resolve that I will do better. But then I don't.
It will happen. At some point, it will come back. Just hopefully soon.
This morning I was at a whopping 141.1. Seriously heading the wrong way here people. Worse, I can FEEL it. I can see it in my face, feel it in my clothes. Ugh. I hate it, it needs to change.
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Hot 100 Update 3
Goal 1: Posting: I want to post regularly on the dieting blog here.
Posting semi regular. I'm snacking like crazy and eating way too big of portions so it's more embarrassing to post. But it would be way more detrimental if I just continued eating in denial.
Goal 2: Food Tracking:
Not a bit. I'll wake up, eat a 1/2 banana, then some egg beaters with salsa and write it down. That's as far as I get. The handful of fruit loops, the couple of ham slices, few cheese and crackers, 3 - 4 pretzels just don't make the list. Then portioning lettuce and dressing goes out the window which means I end up putting twice the dressing on my salads. Then by the time dinner comes, I just don't care and I eat what I want. 3 helpings of baked beans tonight. 3 helpings, people! They were good but I do didn't need it.
Goal 3: Get moving:
Uh, I think I am typing faster? Does that count as exercise?
My personal record of my weight loss journey. My goal is to post daily, weigh in monthly and hopefully see some results!
happens to me all the time... hang in there... get rid of the fruitloops.. the kids dont' need it anyways.... My husband snuck ice cream into the cart this week and one of the kids is into it.. I WAS pissed...
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the egg beaters... I HATE EM... love regular eggs... ARE THEY THAT BAD FOR YOU...
I like your blogs... your not fake and you shoot straight... it will come back to you soon just like it did me.. maybe you just needed a little break.... I am on day three of being good and petrified I will screw it up...
I will say a prayer for you tonight....
Funny you say you can feel it.. We took pictures out on the beach the other night... MY SHOCKER... my face was so fat ! Big time depressed me
hugs
I know how you feel. I do. But something struck me. "I hate it, it needs to change."
ReplyDeleteThe following is said in a place of kindness:
IT can't change. IT doesn't make the choices. YOU have to change. Plain and simple. There is no one making these bad choices but you. You have got to realize how important this is. It is Life or Death. Plain and simple. You have to really, really want this. That's very different from knowing you need it.
I love that you were honest here and that you've been posting. I love that you are so supportive and commenting and encouraging. But honestly, you need to worry about you now. Do it for you and your family. Stop this now. I know you want to and I know you know how. Why aren't you? Think about it. Really, think.
The only thing that matters is that you move forward. One little decision at a time. You CAN. I believe it. Hell, you've done it before. The question now is WILL you?
The goals you've set are excellent. But, I'd like to challenge you right now. Move #2 to #1. Tracking will get you THINKING about every bite. Do it. Start tracking without really worrying about calories. Just write down EVERY BITE. Then once you're used to writing stuff down, start counting.
Now, Move #3 to #1. Move. Excellent. Simple, non-committal. Do something every single day. Just Something.
And once you are doing it, blogging comes easy because you will be excited to tell us all how you are doing. I'm not saying not to blog, just re-prioritize. It is, after all, the easiest of the 3 and the most fun.
I hope I don't hurt your feelings. I just saw so much of me in what you wrote tonight. I could've written this so many times. But you've got 20 weeks of weigh in there and no loss. It made me sad and a little mad for you.
Tomorrow's a new day. Ball's in your court. Good luck.
I am going to keep going on the track of the Doc's post. Just commit yourself to being successful for one day. Wake up tomorrow, do all your goals. Make that your priority for TODAY, to be successful. Forget all the days that follow today, just be successful TODAY. It is so much easier to build on success, you just have to have success to build on. The next day, you will be motivated to do it again, cause it is obviously possible, since you were able to do it yesterday. You just need that first building block to start the house!
ReplyDeleteI think anyone with a lot of weight to lose knows all about those days, weeks, months that seem to linger on and on with our mindless eating. Wanting to stop and get back on track yet NOT doing it.
ReplyDeleteKeep trying each day - I wish I knew what the magic pill was because I'd give it to everyone who has ever struggled.
Debbi - good on you that your posted! Most people back away and never come back. They just give up because they don't want to admit that they've fallen. But you've never failed until the day yo don't get back up. You never know who is inspired by what you post no matter how good or not so good you've done. I, for one, opened my food journal and logged my breakfast! That's because I was inspired by what you wrote. I've been resisting doing that even though it is one of my goals. Let's make a pact to finish out the week by logging our food. I'll check back and see how you're doing.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Mary
Great goals. It definitely is a constant day to day choice. Isn't it so frustrating giving advice that people just don't listen to?
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you ever read this post of mine-but it scares me straight every time I think of being lackadaisical or falling off the wagon...
ReplyDeletehttp://polarspage.blogspot.com/2010/09/graphic-times-call-for-graphic-measures.html#comments
Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com
Well, it can happen, it will happen, but only if you make the decision and stick to it. This has to come from within so maybe if you take some time to think about WHY you want to lose the weight, it could help your resolve. Write down every good thing that can come from it and even write down all the reasons why you keep stumbling or what is holding you back. Face it head on. And go from there. P.S. Journaling might be easier if you get a tiny notebook and carry it around with you to record those BLT's (bites licks and tastes) because they do add up. I know this has helped me a lot in the past!
ReplyDeletePut the Pretzel down, and step away from the cheese and crackers!
ReplyDeleteEveryone who has commented has been in EXACTLY the same position at some point...like you, i also obsessed about the smallest slip-up and then thought "ah well, might as well go crazy"....DON'T!. That's as simple as it gets and the only advice i can offer - you are in control of your hands, don't pick up crap and don't put it in your mouth.
Being overweight is not a disease, you are in complete control - it's the exact same story as alcoholism, smoking and drug addiction - these things all come down to choice. Us weight-loss-wannabees would all love for obesity to be a disease and get a prescription to "cure" us but it's never going to happen, we have to take personal responsibility and make it happen. Unlike alcoholics and drug-addicts who get money/free methadone/free treatment centres/free housing in this country (the UK), us "big-boned" folks are left to fend for ourselves despite obesity being at epidemic levels. We are on our own, but here in blog-land is where we get strength in numbers.
I applaud you for keeping blogging through the bad times and please keep doing so but YOU need to put you and your family first, ahead of crappy foods and ahead of not wanting to exercise - when you think about eating crap, think of your kids and how you want to be there as they grow up, think about setting a strong example for them, think of the fun you can have running around with them without getting breathless. No-one else can do this for you.
Like Doc above, i can see a lot of my own former thought-processes in your post, and i certainly hope this comment is coming across in the spirit in which it is intended...it's what you need to hear, rather than what you may want to hear. You are in control, you choose what goes in your mouth, you choose whether you go for a walk/run/move or not,...
You can do this, you know (we all know for a fact that you can). You already know that you hate the feel of the extra weight, you know what you have to do to get rid of it...so, what are you sitting there reading this for...DO IT.
One day at a time. You can, you will. I have faith in you. It's hard I know but you're strong. Just remember one day at a time. Even one hour at a time or one meal.
ReplyDeleteTake care Debbi. Have a great Friday and a blessed weekend.
Well, from one Deb to another--You've read my blog--you know that I know how frantic and scary this can feel.
ReplyDeleteI offer no advice--except don't quit. We are going to do this.
We all have a key that "flips our switch." Right now we're both struggling. I sooo want to chuck it all and just eat. I do. And a few days ago I was doing better than I've done in months.
S'up with that?! shrug. I have no idea. But here's what I do know--WE ARE GOING TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT. We are. I mean it.
We're going to suck it up and get it done.
If I find the magic "get it done" pill, I will absolutely pass it on to you. :D
Till then, don't give up!
And Congratulations on the honest post. You are a brave woman.
Deb
Been there, done that. Moved in the wrong direction too many times to count. I am also better at giving support and encouragement than listening to my own wise words. Sigh. You can do it!!
ReplyDeleteWe've all been there, Debbi, and no doubt we can all fall down again. But as long as we get up again, that's what counts.
ReplyDeleteRemember WHY you are changing your habits. FOR *YOU*! So YOU can be healthier, happier, more comfortable in your own skin. So YOU can respect yourself, and at the end of the day, say 'Booyah! I rocked this day!' So YOU can love yourself.
You're worth it. You KNOW it!
I too have been there and done that Deb! The great thing about the challenge is that it makes us stop and take a look back at the past week. We can see where we need improvement and then make a plan for what we can do different next week to be more successful!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I have to tell myself that just for this one day I am going to do things "this" way (whatever that may be for you) if I can get that first day done the way I want it, the next day is that much easier.
So instead of looking at the whole week just try to get through that first day in a way that will make you proud at the end of it.
I have never regretted something I didn't eat!
We all have the down times, but fortunately, we all have up times too. Hour-by-hour, day-by-day, this can be a better week. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteHi Debbi! I know, tracking is so hard for me too. Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteJenni (fellow Plus Size Blogger)